Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

A week ago this time I was still processing the alcohol I'd ingested the day before (a Sunday): an Irish coffee followed by a whole bunch of beer. In fact, while at a late dinner with friends, I managed to down three bottles of Guiness.

The next day I felt my usual self - not hungover exactly, but tired and unmotivated and nothing to look forward to but my next drunk.

Except I didn't get drunk. That evening I smoked the last cigarette in the last pack from the last carton I'd bought for $60.00 before Christmas holidays and went to bed knowing that I'd finally reached the place I knew would come to sooner or later - the point where I was sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time.

Now, a week later, I find myself waking up and looking forward to the day. I haven't done that in a long time - at least a year. I'm chewing nicotine gum again - lots of it - but its not nearly as expensive as the cigarettes I was buying and it doesn't make my clothes and breath stink. And I got a lot of work done this weekend on a project I've been neglecting for the past nine months.

I'm excited to be excited again. This feels good. And I'm not going to ruin it with a drink.